Emmett and the Volvo
by simply-dazzling001
Summary: Post BD, possible spoilers! Follow-up to "Emmett and the Marshmallow." What exactly DID Emmett do to Edward's Volvo that resulted in his DS ban? What's with the strange noises in the garage?


**Author's Note: I do not own Twilight.**

[From "Emmett and Marshmallows"]

"_Thanks for the s'mores, Uncle Em. I'll be sure to tell Dad you took great care of me."_

"_FINALLY!" Emmett bellowed. "Your dad hasn't let me play any of my DS games since the…er, _Volvo_ incident."_

And now……………the Volvo Incident:

"JAZZY!! Where are you?!" Alice screeched, hand on her shiny yellow Porsche.

"Coming, honey…."

"YAY! Now come on, let's go, the mall closes in only 7 hours!! We won't have very much time to shop!!"

Jasper groaned. "Someone shoot me, please."

"I believe you mean, rip and burn you," Edward corrected, climbing into the back of Alice's Porsche. "And Bella, why on EARTH are you making me go, too? Don't you love me?"

From the doorway, Bella glared at Edward.

"What kind of question is that? Besides, Ness and I need to spend some more time together and Alice is forcing you to go out and buy me a Christmas present. She'll be taking me to buy one for you, too. So don't complain."

Edward sighed, but knew she was right. "Yes, love. Goodbye, Renesmee. Take care of your mother for me, all right? And make sure Uncle Emmett stays AWAY from my car, yes?"

Renesmee giggled from behind Bella. "Yes, Daddy. Goodbye! Have fun!"

"Come on, come on!!" Alice said impatiently. She turned around to make sure that Edward was safely in the car and had no chance of escaping. "OK, LET'S GO!!"

Once Alice had driven away, Bella walked back into the house, following Renesmee.

"So Ness, what do you want to do today?"

Renesmee motioned for Bella to lean down, and touched her cheek. She wanted Bella to read a book to her.

"Ok, sure," Bella said with a smile. She had just sat down with Renesmee on the couch when suddenly……

"YAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett screamed, bolting down the stairs.

Bella jumped to her feet. "Emmett!! What's WRONG with you?!?"

Emmett's eyes widened and turned to face Bella.

"Nothing. Nothing at all is wrong with me why do you ask nothing's wrong nope nothing wrong here." Emmett flashed a nervous smile.

"Uh-huh."

Emmett broke down. "AGH!!…..Edward left his classical music junk in my CD player!"

"And the problem is….?"

"I HATE classical! Plus, he left the volume really high on the headphones and it hurt my ears really bad," Emmett whined.

"Alright then. Ready Ness?"

"Ready!"

Emmett was utterly shocked at the sympathy he was receiving.

"Well! What can I expect? He's _your_ husband. You don't care that he permanently damaged my eardrums with some screechy violin solo! I MUST be avenged!!"

At that, Bella was getting a bit concerned.

"Emmett, what do you-"

But Emmett was gone in a flash. Bella sighed. Renesmee looked up at her mother and put her hand on Bella's cheek.

"Well, whatever he does, Dad will take care of it," Bella assured her, and began reading.

*** 7 hours later ***

Alice burst into the living room, arms loaded with about twenty large shopping bags.

"Wasn't that fun!!" she squealed.

"Do you really want us to answer?" Edward asked wearily. He walked in, carrying about thirty large shopping bags.

"I need to go try these on!! Jazz!! Come help!!"

Jasper groaned once more. "Yes, Alice." He marched upstairs and loudly dropped all 100 of Alice's shopping bags on the floor. Bella looked up from her book. Renesmee had fallen asleep about 1 hour into the book, so Bella was now reading it quietly to herself, while strange clanking sounds came from the garage. She had forced herself to stay in the couch, however. She was tired of Alice calling her a worry-wart.

"Hi Edward. How was your day?"

"You have no idea. What's with the noises in the garage?"

Bella shrugged. Suddenly, Emmett's voice came from the driveway. He was shouting, "HAHA! TAKE _THAT_ EDWARD!!! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!!!"

Edward was already completely exhausted from Alice's furious shopping antics, but the thought of Emmett doing something evil to him or his possessions was enough to drag him out of the living room and stare in shock at his Volvo.

There, in bright, pink spray paint all over Edward's car, were the words, "**EDWARD SUX!**"

Edward was stunned speechless. Slowly, his fury caught up to him. He exploded.

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN WHAT THE VOLTURI HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CAR?!?!?!?!?"

"Are you blind? I spray-painted it. Duh."

"WHY?!?!?!?"

"For leaving your lame classical music in my CD player."

Edward clenched his fists so hard that his pale, white skin looked even paler and whiter than before. He slowly counted to ten before he continued.

"NO MORE DS GAMES FOR YOU, MISTER!!" Edward darted inside, upstairs, into Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom, snatched his case of DS cartridges and returned outside.

Emmett stared wide-eyed, panicked. "NO! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THEM?!"

"Renesmee!!"

Bella appeared in the doorway, carrying a tired-looking Renesmee in her arms. Renesmee yawned, then asked, "Yes Daddy?"

"Why don't you go down to La Push and give these to Jacob for me? Tell him he can have them for now."

Renesmee brightened at the sound of Jacob's name. "Sure Daddy!"

Bella smiled wryly at Edward, whose fury died down a bit.

"I'll take you, Ness. Let me go call Jacob." And they were off.

Emmett dry-sobbed.

**Aww…poor Emmett. How did you like it? Read and review please :]**


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